Boyfriends Are Out of Style — But Are They Really?
A few days ago, I stumbled on that Vogue article claiming that having a boyfriend is no longer in fashion, it actually went viral even on Tik-Tok — and honestly, I was a little thrown off. Is being in a relationship really something that can go out of trend?
Just last Friday, at a Halloween party (hi November, hi Christmas mood), someone told me, “It’s not trendy to be a pet parent anymore — now it’s all about being the fun uncle.” Weirdly enough, that made sense… and didn’t, all at once.
In my case, there are three of us in my closest friend group. Andrea and Gabriela have always been the “relationship girls,” while I’ve been the perpetually single one. But life, being delightfully ironic, flipped the script — now I’m the one who’s in a serious relationship (hopefully), and they’re both single.
And here’s the thing: I liked being single. I didn’t need anyone. Sure, my aunts gave me that subtle pity look — you know the one — and sometimes I felt unattractive or not enough. But that was maybe 20% of the time. The other 80%, I was fine. I even remember my mom asking if I was a lesbian — three times, to be exact, in my car on the way back to her place.
Now that I’m in a relationship, I can already hear the criticism: “Oh, you’re just defensive because you finally have a boyfriend.” But that’s not it. I look back at my single years with a mix of nostalgia and pride — that feeling of “maybe I could’ve done more,” but also knowing I lived my twenties on my own terms. I dated a lot (like, a lot — it was basically an emotional buffet), but I never felt out of place.
I think Vogue was trying to make a point — maybe to comfort single women, or to stir up conversation. Either way, it worked. I’ve been both: the girl who loved being single and the one who secretly wanted a partner. Sometimes I’d see girls with questionable boyfriends and think, “Yeah, I’d rather be alone than with someone who doesn’t deserve me.” Not everyone feels that way, and that’s fine.
Honestly, I’d love if Vogue’s next piece was titled “It’s Trendy to Be the Fun Aunt.” Because, well, I am one — and it’s pretty great.
But back to the main question: is being single cool? I think it is. Is it trendy? Not exactly. A lot of us have always been single, and like any good trend, it’s cyclical. We’ve all lived through more than one “single era.”
Still, I get the spirit behind Vogue’s take. The idea that “being single is in” might sound shallow, but maybe it’s just a reflection of something deeper — that women are finally comfortable saying, “I’d rather be alone than waste my time.” And that’s a lesson worth learning. Because wasting time is the real heartbreak, not the breakup itself.
When I did the soft and hard launch of my relationship, I lost a few followers — just like the article mentioned. It actually made me laugh. My account isn’t big, and even when I was single, my DMs weren’t exactly overflowing. But still, it felt odd watching people unfollow me — especially my ex situationship being the first one. Classic.
There’s a line from the piece that stuck with me: “Boyfriends are out of style. They won’t come back until they start acting right.”
Honestly? True. Even while being in a relationship, I think that way. Does that make me a man-hater? Probably not. But I do think that in most straight relationships, men could do a little better — okay, a lot better. And I completely get why women don’t post their boyfriends anymore.
I get what gives the ick. For me, it’s family influencers — I just can’t watch those. It’s too much curated happiness, too much “look how perfect our love is.” Maybe that’s why I understand the instinct to keep relationships offline. Some things deserve privacy, not performance.
I have friends — even influencers — who soft-launch a relationship one week and, a month later, are posting breakup stories and rediscovering their single era. And honestly? I don’t judge them. You go, girl.
Before this relationship, I was convinced I’d be the fun aunt forever — maybe a fling or two, focus on my career, my family, my peace. And yet, here I am, talking about kids and possibly adopting a turtle. Life, as always, had other plans.
I also understand why women share less about their partners now. The reasons are valid — judgment, privacy, fear of losing yourself in someone else’s highlight reel. But for me, it comes down to something simpler: time. Bad relationships waste it. And for women who still want families or just stability, time is sacred.
If this relationship doesn’t work out, I don’t think I’ll have the energy to start over again. Because finding someone who truly shows up — and doesn’t make you feel embarrassed, like in that Sabrina Carpenter song — feels harder than any actual job.
So yes, I understand Vogue’s point. I’m still fifty-fifty about it. Maybe what we’re really rejecting isn’t love — it’s the chaos that comes with the wrong kind of love. We’re tired of being emotionally drained, endlessly patient, or treated like someone’s personal self-improvement project.
Maybe “boyfriends are out of style” because bad boyfriends are.
Love itself? That never goes out of fashion. It just looks better when it fits right.
